Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days.
Eventually, Peter, the Archangel, found Him resting on the seventh day.
He inquired of God, “Where have you been?”
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downward through the clouds.
“Look, Peter, look what I’ve made.”
Archangel Peter looked puzzled and said, “What is it?”
“It’s a planet,” replied God, “and I’ve put life on it. I’m going to call it earth and it’s going to be a great place of balance.”
“Balance?” inquired Peter, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of the earth, “For example, Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while Africa is going to be poor. The Middle East over there will be a hot spot.”
God continued, pointing to different countries, “This one will be extremely hot while this other one will be very cold and covered with ice.”
The Archangel, impressed by God’s work, and then pointed to a large landmass with an ocean as it border and said, “What’s that one?”
“Ah,” said God, “that’s Vermont, the most glorious place on earth.
There are forests, rivers, lakes, and climate.
The people from Vermont are going to be modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to be found traveling the world.
They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, and high achieving people, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace.”
Peter gasped in wonder and admiration, but then exclaimed, “What about balance, God? You said there would be balance! Everyone and everything seems so totally perfect in this place you call “Vermont”
God replied wisely, “Wait until you see the assholes I’m sending down from New York and Massachusetts every summer.”